Sorry, But Hollywood Is Making A Duke Nukem Movie

This isn’t the first time a Duke Nukem film has been in development. The Hollywood Reporter notes that Paramount was working on a Duke Nukem project starring John Cena for a few years. Imagine living in that timeline. While this project could also fail to happen, it stands a much better chance as Hollywood has become much more interested in pumping out movies and TV shows based on famous video games.

Gearbox, when reached, had no additional comment.

No writer or director has yet been picked, or forced at gunpoint, to join the current project and bring life to Duke Nukem. That means we still have time. We can stop this.

I think there might be a way to make a funny, possibly even “good,” Duke Nukem film. It’d start with him being a washed-up loser who had one big moment saving the world back in the ‘90s and has been riding out that bit of fame for the past 30 years. But to find out the rest of that story you’ll need to hire me to write a spec script.