Super Bowl LVII: It’s a Dry Heat!

What’s All This? Super Bowl LVII, the NFL’s championship game for the 2022 season, is played Feb. 12 at State Farm Stadium in Glendale, Arizona. It’s the fourth time the Phoenix area has hosted the Super Bowl, the last being the 2014 season.

What’s LVII In Regular Numbers? 57.

What Happens When You Google “When Is The Super Bowl 2023 This Year?” You get this.

Where’s Next Year’s Game? Vegas, baby!

Is There Football? Yes. The AFC champion Kansas City Chiefs will face the NFC champion Philadelphia Eagles. There are a few story lines the mainstream media will beat to death, like Black Quarterbacks! and One Coach Coaches Against The Team He Used to Coach!

Can You Lose Money On It? Oh, hell yes!

Is It On TV? FOX airs the game with play-by-play man Kevin Burkhardt and analyst Greg Olsen in the broadcast booth, and Erin Andrews and Tom Rinaldi reporting.

How Many People Watch It? Super Bowl LVI between the Cincinnati Bengals and champion Los Angeles Rams averaged 101.1 million TV viewers and another 11.2 million streaming. It was the 11th most watched broadcast in U.S. TV history.

Who’s Performing At Halftime? Rihanna’s going to feel like the only girl (in the world) when she takes the stage. Apple Music is the show’s new sponsor.

How Much For A Commercial? A 30-second spot has hit the $7 million mark. Stupid inflation! Molson Coors will appear for the first time in more than 30 years as Anheuser-Busch no longer has exclusivity for alcohol ads. Downy Unstopables, Avocados From Mexico, M&Ms, Rakuten, Hellman’s mayonnaise, Pringles, and sports betting platforms FanDuel and DraftKings are also making pitches during the game. There’s also this one for Paramount+:

Watching the Super Bowl just for the commercials is no longer necessary, since most of these ads are available online even before the game.

What’s On FOX After? Gordon Ramsay will yell a lot and crush the spirits of people who just want to make food in the Season 2 premiere of Next Level Chef.